Facebook Poke

Ever been poked? Ever been poked repeatedly? It's annoying, right? Well today I would like to raise your awareness to a terrible epidemic that is sweeping the nation, the Facebook poke. Scientists are now calling this Mustpokealldaylongitus. What never heard of it? Don't worry. You're not alone. This disease is fairly new and most of the world doesn't know about. That's why I'm here, to tell you what it is, how to recognize it, and how to cure it.



What is Mustpokealldaylongitus?
Mustpokealldaylongitus is a day that causes people to need to poke others all day long. Even if they aren't around people they will find a way to poke their friends. Facebook has helped many of these people by having a "poke" button so that the people are poking others without the physical contact.

Symptoms:
The symptoms of Mustpokealldaylongitus varies for every person. However if you recognize somebody you know displaying these three symptoms take them to a Stoppokingallday doctor immediately.

1. Continually tapping finger on a surface. If somebody displays this symptom it probably means they don't have anybody to poke at the moment. Because they can't poke anybody they begin to poke the table. Most the time this symptom isn't even noticed by the person doing the poking.
2. Typing random letters into the keyboard because they are bored and don't want to do homework (this may also be a sign of procrastination if it is contact your Doitnow doctor immediately). If you receive a message of random letters while texting or messaging a friend they probably had the urge to poke something but could only poke you (example: eoiurkdnvdm;audfienkmxcnx,mncvwoeiu). How can you be sure this is the case? If you ask them what that was and they respond "idk i was bored" they probably have Mustpokealldayitus.
3. If your friend goes up to you or a stranger pokes you in the arm and then says "Poooooooooke!" they have Mustpokealldaylongitus and you need to take them to a Stoppokingallday doctor immediately! 

Why does Mustpokealldaylongitus need to be cured? It seems like a rather stupid to be an actual disease.

What's this? You doubt that Mustpokealldaylongitus is an actual disease and needs to be treated?! That is one of the main reasons Mustpokealldaylongitus must be cured! Because people think it isn't an actual disease it is spreading faster and faster throughout the nation.

Remember when you were a kid and you would play the "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" game? Well that was the beginning of this game. Our ancestors had Mustpokealldaylongitus and never even knew it! This disease is very smart and has evolved so much that it can even spread through the internet! 

Not to mention it's annoying.

How do people get this disease? Here are the top 4 reasons:

1. Being bored. When people are bored they need something to do and what better than a poke war on Facebook?
2. Feeling lonely. When people are lonely they see the poke button as a way to say "Hey! Pay attention to me!"
3. Flirtation. When a teen likes another teen that teen is more likely to poke that other teen in order to get their attention and give an excuse to start a conversation.
4. Missing their childhood. When one misses their childhood they want to do something they used to do during their childhood without other people knowing it. By poking somebody through Facebook they are saying "I'm not touching you!" with their hand in your face.

How do we cure Mustpokealldaylongitus?

1. Find somebody with Mustpokealldaylongitus and tape their fingers together. If they don't have on finger alone they can't officially poke you in the correct manner. However make sure they don't have any pencils, sticks, pens, or anything of that sort because they can use that poke with.
2. Never ever start a poke war on Facebook. Once you do you can't stop and the only way to stop is to see a Stoppokingalldaylong doctor.
3. When sitting somewhere make sure to glue or tape a victims hand to the table so that they can't continually poke the table. 
4. Whenever you see somebody do any form of poking (i.e. tapping their finger against their forehead, tapping a pencil on the table, etc.) make sure you force them to stop immediately. 

Because this disease is relatively new I ask to spread the news about Mustpokealldaylongitus to all your friends so that one day this disease will be gone for good. Thank you.

~Scooby

Mustpokealldaylongitus is not an actual disease. If you believed this post you need to get your brain checked because you are very gullable. Just kidding. This is real. Symptoms include poking a hole through their own head, poking a hole through a table. If you see somebody in danger of this disease contact the Stoppoking Hotline at 333-333-POKE.